Von guten Mächten wunderbar geborgen

On this 6^th of January we celebrate the feast of Epiphany, more widely known as Three Kings’ Day. It marks the end of Christmas time. Many of us go back to work after a nice Christmas break, and in a certain way, we feel catapulted into a deep cold darkness, including work, stress and uncertainty about the future. We may recognise ourselves in the three magi, as they face many risks on their unpredictable journey, yet we may also find relief in their courage and steadfastness when they follow the star, convinced that it will lead them to their destiny.

This is a great time to listen to this German song Von guten Mächten wunderbar geborgen (By good forces wonderfully protected).  The song is well-known in Germany, and I plead it should be better known in our Low Countries and in the rest of the world. I found this excellent performance by Siegfried Fietz. The text has been written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a spiritual man. He did what was right, irrespective of what other people believed or did. The irony of his destiny is that he was not wonderfully protected by good forces at all; you may even argue he was terribly attacked by evil forces. The fact that he found the incredible strength to resist these evil powers, is due to his strong faith and steadfastness. His spiritual consistency with his writings made him embody the good forces in himself. Let us resist to the temptation of supporting inhuman solutions to difficult problems. Let us draw poise, bravery, hope, courage and steadfastness from Bonhoeffer’s words. May the good forces be with you!

I refer to my blog Dunameis and to my Dutch blog Driekoningen 2018.

Image: The Three Magi, Hendrik Van Balen, Sint-Andrieskerk Antwerpen, artinflanders.be, photographer Hugo Maertens (public domain)

Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord

You may feel relieved after having defied the dangers of professional life and you may cherish hope for a peaceful Christmas time with family and friends. Peace on Earth, however, seems beyond reach in these awkward times.

The sad news is that peace at your family’s Christmas table is equally threatened. In this time, everybody tends to have a strong opinion on political matters and even within families, we tend to have polarised viewpoints on almost everything. We may have academics and populists around the table. The only thing we could agree upon, is the decline of the West, and it looks like this drives our concern about everything else.

On the left-right axis, we have different viewpoints on almost everything: treatment of refugees, social security, property taxes, war in Palestine, deforestation in Brazil, etc. The left-right divide is essentially a socio-economical divide: do you promote the interests of the stronger or the interests of the weaker? The problem would be easy if the stronger felt strong. In times of upheaval and economic decline however, the strong feel threatened by the weak and opt for solutions that keep the weak away.

On the conservative – progressive axis, we have different viewpoints on immaterial values. The conservative viewpoint is that our ancestors have worked hard to establish immaterial values and that we should honour these. The progressive viewpoint is we need progress as the status quo proves our inherited values are not adequate to establish a fair society. Consider gay rights, abortion, the use of obligatory vaccination, the quality of education, the tolerance for life philosophies and the treatment of animals. Very often, conservative viewpoints resonate well with the right, and progressive viewpoints resonate with the left. The reason is our social order is based on possession, not on needs. Therefore, the protection of possession has a somewhat conservative character, whereas the standing up for the needs of the weak tends to have a progressive character.

The discussions are often not based on rational arguments, rather on belly feeling, sometimes even admiration or disgust for famous representatives of each side. Whatever you want to discuss at the Christmas table, keep in mind two things. First, the people at your table mean well, they are of good will, and they are concerned about you and about the entire planet.

Secondly, and this is the most important: resist cynicism. Don’t give in to the temptation of claiming everyone is stupid or selfish. Let there be peace on Earth. Prepare ye the way of the Lord, like Saint Joseph in his dream.

I also refer to my blog Why Do the People Imagine a Vain Thing?

Picture: Joseph’s Dream, Gerard Seghers, MSK Gent, artinflanders.be, photographer Hugo Maertens (public domain)

Poise, Bravery, and Hope

New Year’s resolutions usually aim at doing something, either more or less. We may intend to do more sports, eat less, smoke less, or even work less. Could we also aim at changing our attitude and state of mind to a certain extent? It may be needed in this time when everyone around us seems to be in deep despair about our future, whether it relates to work, war, immigration, climate, or the dangers of eating Christmas trees.

In this valley of tears, there is really a lot to worry about. Although there is always a slight irony in my blogs, our common tendency to be pessimistic is not totally unjustified. Our fears are triggered by the incredible rate at which everything changes. We are missing solid structures in our lives. The solid structures of religion, marriage, family, work often turn into liquids, and it sometimes looks as if we always need to restart reconstructing them like Sisyphus. It makes us extremely vulnerable. Even worse, pessimism may become self-fulfilling.

My New Year’s resolution would be to stay steadfast in the face of uncertainty. We can’t really decide never to be afraid. Fear is an emotion and usually catches us unexpectedly. We can however try to keep our poise and stay brave in the face of what is coming. The brave attitude is certainly less comfortable than the ‘run away’ or ‘blame it on the others’ attitude but it is the one which we regret the least later on. What keeps us going is the hope. The pessimists may be right but hope never dies.

Picture: pedestrian bridge in Tours, France 2019 ©Wim Lahaye

A New Year’s Resolution: Cultivate the Art of Being There

Most New Year’s Resolutions emphasise action or abstinence. We should do more or less of something. We should do more sports, more language learning and more hobbies. We should smoke less, work less and drive our cars less.

Instead of our actions, we could also consider our presence in this world. Are we really there for our loved ones? Do we spend time with them and how do we spend our time with them? How is our attentiveness towards our loved ones? Do we really listen and talk with full attention? We do not always need to speak, but are we receptive to the expressed and non-expressed needs of our fellow human beings?

In many cases, we can’t solve all problems and it is not good to overact. The essence is to be there. This sounds like a tautology. We need to be present when our loved ones need us. Let us get rid of our full agendas and live in the here and now.

The Power of Vulnerability

In these dark days, the struggle for existence, on the last days leading up to Christmas, can be tough. Now that in itself is not a problem if we could freely share that feeling with each other, among colleagues. Rather than telling success stories to each other, we could tell what went wrong, how we made ourselves immortally ridiculous with the customer and, above all, how miserable we felt about it.

Our organisational culture is however still based on a model of competition. Showing weakness and vulnerability is not done, because our assessment and our salary depend on it. We bottle up our emotions until they reach heights we didn't know existed. Is it because our organisations are mainly run by men? It looks like a competitive macho culture plays a role everywhere. Moreover, our society is still permeated by a certain stoicism.

The problem is that the competition model has reached its limits. One of the symptoms of this is the burning of employees – the so-called burnout. In a knowledge-based society, competition is neither effective nor efficient, because it prevents the sharing of knowledge. Collaboration is much more effective than competition. Our evaluation systems are based on individual performance and not on willingness to cooperate. And to evaluate the latter, you should not ask the boss, but the peers.

In an atmosphere of cooperation, it is easier to show vulnerability. The advantage is that you don't need to hide your weaknesses so much and that you can therefore call on colleagues in time to compensate for them. This reduces the burnout rate and increases customer satisfaction. Don't get me wrong. We don't do this just for the numbers. We improve the quality of our lives and we make the world a little more friendly.

I refer to my blog resilience.

Picture: Michelangelo, Madonna with Child, Church of Our Lady, Bruges, ©Wim Lahaye

A New Year's Resolution: Wholeheartedness

Wholeheartedness goes a step further than sincerity or honesty. Whoever is honest does not lie and tells the truth. But he/she does not necessarily say everything and does not necessarily show himself completely with all his/her emotions. This can cause problems. Anyone who says yes when given an impossible assignment is not dishonest, but is confronted with a problem due to a lack of wholeheartedness.

In wholeheartedness, the bearer is an open book. He surrenders himself to the listener in full confidence and assumes that the listener has all the capacity to share in the joy and pain that the message brings. The wholehearted person is not only honest in words but also in posture, attitude and interest in the reaction of the other. The wholehearted person approaches the fellow human being with an audacious confidence. He/she is well aware that the listener may not like the message, but consciously acts vulnerably, with his / her imperfections, to get the message into the heart of the listener. The message is so important that all shame and fear of ridicule is overcome.

An interesting question is whether you can learn or practice wholeheartedness. It's a bit like the virtue of patience; it's a passive letting go rather than an active doing. What we have to learn to let go of is the question how we look like and today this is mainly the sensed need to appear 'cool'. It is the most horrible contemporary need by the way, because what is still so nice about being cool when everybody is cool already?

Wholeheartedness can move mountains. But the wholehearted person must lower shields and be willing to be hurt by the fellow man. Wholeheartedness takes courage. But there is something in return. Most people are good and that is why they also appreciate courage and wholeheartedness. So let us make it a very whole-heartfelt year!

Some charismatic leaders are also wholehearted. I refer to the YouTube video of Brené Brown. She doesn't only explain the concept, she also radiates in her speech what wholeheartedness is. Brené Brown on the Building Blocks of Wholeheartedness – The Marginalian

Picture from shutterstock.com

Ode to Friendship

Today is Saint John's day. Saint John is the patron of friendship and namesake of many good friends in many countries (Jan, Jean, John, Johan, Hans, Juan, Giovanni, João, ..). In art, Saint John is recognisable as the 'youngest looking' apostle, with long hair and a slightly feminine touch. Legend has it that he was so loved by Jesus that he became the only apostle allowed to live until his old age.

December 27 is also an ideal day to reconnect with your friends. Friends are peers in whose company we like to stay. They know us and we know them. We don't have to wear masks. We accept them as they are and they accept us as we are. However, the differences can be very large. That way, good friends can often form very strong teams. But friendship is not there to deliver great achievements.

Colleagues can become friends, but it is only when they become friends that it is a relief to be among them. In friends we recognise ourselves. We sympathize with them in the event of success or setback. Friends can compete but know no jealousy. To true friends we grant every success.

We can tolerate more from friends, but at the same time we also dare to demand more from friends. True friendship gives and asks. Friendships are often intertwined life stories. This intertwining makes the life stories fascinating and beautiful. Friendship gives colour to life.

Picture: Hans Memling - Johannes op Patmos, This is a freely licensed work, as explained in the Definition of Free Cultural Works.

A New Year's Resolution: Stop the Blame Game

If I were to choose a suited collective New Year's resolution, I would choose stopping the eternal blame game in our society. If something bad happens (e.g. a home for the elderly gets infected by Covid-19), the press immediately indicates potential scapegoats. Something few people seem to understand is: in a complex society like ours, things go wrong and it is not necessarily anybody’s fault. As a leading manager in a large organisation, you may be forced to take decisions, the consequences of which you can’t entirely foresee. What happens in the end, may be the result of a complex interaction between different unpredictable events.

When we think of the Middle Ages, where disease was believed to be caused by witches and devils, we tend to think we belong to an enlightened era, where such nonsense could not prevail. Yet if we look at our daily reactions to bad news, we immediately start with the gallows installation. Sin and guilt are considered obsolete remainders of an all too Christian society, yet sin and guilt have never been more at the centre of attention than now. Confession and penitence on the contrary are no longer permitted. Our mediocracy loves hanging the few excellent people in our society who feel accountable.

The truth is we judge too fast. We can’t imagine being in someone else’s position. Therefore, let us practice mildness. Read my Dutch blog: Het principe van de goede huisvader in een technocratie.

“Why Do the People Imagine a Vain Thing?”

I remember our local schoolteacher warned us +45 years ago against Christmas consumerism, and in favour of a more thoughtful lifestyle. Consumerism was presented at that time as a new evil, something that would soon go away, if we all made our efforts. The funny thing is, it didn’t go away and I’m still doing my best to promote the idea of our schoolteacher. The message I hear now is not different from the one of 1975. Our society is filled with noise. People buy a lot of stuff. They chat, but don’t listen to each other. All news is about the search for Corona scapegoats. While everybody is longing for a warmer and closer society, we only seem to talk about the future realisation of this. Instead, we need to reflect and be patient. It is a very typical Christmas message. You would expect this Christmas could be different, as we are clearly discouraged by the circumstances from engaging in too many superficial activities. Why couldn’t we experience a more spiritual Christmas in 2020 and realise our schoolteacher’s dream?

It struck me while I was listening to Händel’s Messiah: the answer is very simple. The schoolteacher’s wish is exactly the reason why Christmas exists. Händel's Messiah sings “Why do the nations so furiously rage together and why do the people imagine a vain thing?”. Christmas is inherently our yearly spiritual message against the vanity that is inevitably part of our life. For our survival, we humans have no choice but to chat and fight and not-listen and buy fancy stuff. The idea of a serene Christmas is just our yearly counterweight to this chaos. Our spirituality is not meant to destroy our hyperactivity, but rather to compensate for the extreme effects of it. Our life will always be balancing between vanity and humility. We don’t need to change this. We even need vanity to survive. Let us go shopping! We only need to continue paying attention to our Christmas spiritual messages as well. Banning them from newspapers, television and internet would be a bad idea. But in the huge data stream we have today, do these messages still get a fair chance to reach everyone?

Picture: De profeet Jeremia door Rembrandt - www.geheugenvannederland.nl : Home : Info : Pic, Publiek domein, Wikipedia